


Now or never

by Noodle_Soup_Bowl



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Civil War, Death, Fighting, Love, Love Confession, M/M, Pain, Screaming, This Shit Hurts, We Cryin, civil war but worse, grab tissues, hahaha gay, idk man, kill me, pls dont die, read it, steve/bucky - Freeform, the sunshine song
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-31
Updated: 2020-05-31
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:13:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24478510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Noodle_Soup_Bowl/pseuds/Noodle_Soup_Bowl
Summary: When he looked down at his chest, he got all weird and calm. A big circle of burned cotton and skin was there, on the spot where his heart should be, hidden under his ribcage. It smelled disgusting, like something was burning.That something was him. He was that something. The flesh in the burned circle was dark, that much he could see. The pain was too bad to look at it any longer, he dropped his head back on the concrete.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Comments: 15
Kudos: 31





	Now or never

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to Aziraphalessushi for beta-ing this :)
> 
> have fun reading i guess??
> 
> -Noodle

Steve was laying on the ground behind him, knocked against the wall. It was now or never. Bucky finally saw an opening in Tony’s defense.

Breaking out of the trance-like state he was in earlier, he catched Tony’s hand aiming the repulsor at him, pushing it upwards so it wouldn’t hit him. 

_ Now or never.  _

He punched the armed man square in the chest, his metal fist hitting the even tougher metal, barely putting a dent in it. Tony staggered backwards, and Bucky took the chance to fully push him against the wall, hand on the iron helmet. 

_ Now or never. _

His other hand was clawing at the blue triangle in the middle. He didn’t know why, his thoughts were everything but rational right now. 

He was slowly breaking the triangle, but it hurt. The metal was hot, too hot. He never thought that could happen, pain in his left arm. It was supposed to be a lifeless metal thing, but apparently the heat had damaged it or something.

_ Now. Or. Never.  _

Bucky screamed. Screamed as loud as he could, only for a few seconds. Then the heat got worse, moved his chest, lit up so bright it hurt his eyes. 

But his eyes weren’t the only thing hurting. There was a repulsor in the blue triangle, that was where the heat came form. He hadn’t noticed it earlier, but nothing mattered anymore. 

He was laying on the concrete floor, his metal arm unresponsive. There was a burning pain in his chest, white noise in his ears. He could barely hear his own heartbeat over it. 

When he looked down at his chest, he got all weird and calm. A big circle of burned cotton and skin was there, on the spot where his heart should be, hidden under his ribcage. It smelled disgusting, like something was burning. 

That something was him. He was that something. The flesh in the burned circle was dark, that much he could see. The pain was too bad to look at it any longer, he dropped his head back on the concrete.

From the bottom corners of his eyes, he could see Steve slamming his shield into the armor on Tony’s chest. 

He wasn’t sure what happened next, everything was a bit foggy.

“Jesus,” he could hear Steve hiss.

“Jus’ call me Buck,” Bucky mumbled back.

“Buck oh my god it’s burning oh jesus, _ don’t die on me pal _ , please,” 

A hand under his back and head, Steve probably, who else would it be?

Bucky was lifted up a little, laid down on something. Two somethings. Steve’s legs maybe? He could see Steve’s face above him, so yeah. 

The hand was still cradling his head, fingers messing up his already bloody and tangled hair. 

“Hey, Buck, look at me. I’m gonna get you out of here, alright? Just don’t look away, don’t close your eyes, can you do that for me? Please, Bucky, please,” Steve was crying, sobbing.

“No,” Bucky muttered. “ ‘m not gonna make it Stevie.”

Steve choked on a sob, almost looking offended, had Bucky not known he was dying he would’ve laughed at the expression.

“I can’t let you die, not like this, not now, not ever, Bucky plea-”

“No. You have t’ let me go.” 

Bucky’s working hand gripped Steve’s suit tightly, fist clenching on the thick fabric. 

He let out a soft sigh, deciding what to say.

“Remember the song you used t’ sing? When you were almost dyin’?”

Steve cracked a smile, feeling tears stream down his face. Some fell, some slipped into his mouth. He immediately understood what Bucky wanted from him. 

“You are my sunshine,” he sang softly, voice shaky and threatening to break any moment. “My only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are gray,”

Bucky’s breathing was as steady as it could be, mind empty, focussing on his last moments with Steve.

“You'll never know dear, how much I love you-”

_ Now or never.  _

“I… I love you too,” Bucky whispered.

Steve’s breath stopped for a second, and so did his heart. Bucky looked at him,  _ he was serious.  _

The place was silent, despite the fact that Tony was there. He didn’t dare to make a sound, lying there on the concrete with a fucking oversized frisbee in his armor, hearing two idiots making love confessions while one of them was dying.

Steve breathed in and out, smelling the snow from outside and the blood and smoke coming from Bucky’s chest.

“ Please don't take my sunshine away,”

Bucky’s face was pale, stained with blood, his lips were parted a bit and  _ oh god what was Steve doing. _

He pushed Bucky’s head up a bit, softly pressing their lips together, ignoring the taste of salt and metal. 

He pulled up after a few seconds, staring at the face beneath him.

“I love you, ya punk,” Bucky said loudly, sounding almost too clear for a  _ dying person _ .

“I love you too, ya jerk,” 

Bucky sighed contently. He’d made his point, right? He could go now, right? Everything just hurt so goddamn much.

“You can go Buck, ‘s okay, I love you.” Steve whispered, smiling with more tears threatening to make an appearance.

He felt Bucky’s head nestle against his chest, getting even closer to his heart. 

His eyes didn’t close. They stared directly into Steve’s. He could see the little sparkles disappear, making his eyes look glassy.

He cradled Bucky’s head closer, frantically searching for a heartbeat, warmth, something,  _ anything _ .

There was nothing. Bucky was gone, dead, and so was a part of Steve.

His sobs robbed him from his breath, constantly making him choke on the intense feeling of loss.

He lost.

He just lost the most important person to him.

**Author's Note:**

> I apologize for this.
> 
> Or not.
> 
> Idk i felt like Satan himself while writing this hahahahahhahahah 
> 
> leave comments i inhale those things they keep me alive 
> 
> no jk no pressure


End file.
